For some reason I had a yen to write some nonsense poetry today, no idea why. Beats working, I guess.
Anyway, here it is. Nothing political, nothing pretentious and no attempt at profundity, this is just pure, unadulterated silliness.
The Road to Tiralee
With a skip and a jump,
A hop and a trump (“scuse me!”),
Auld Harold took the road to Tiralee.
The crowds cheered goodbye,
With many a tear-moistened eye,
When Harold left on the road to Tiralee.
To those he passed he’d holler and shout,
Though that may just have been because of the gout,
On that road to Tiralee.
Through rain and through shine,
And the application of wine (“hic”),
Harold strolled along the road to Tiralee.
Eating his lunch in the breeze,
With the odd bit of cheese (“urp. Pardon!”)
Harold went further down the road to Tiralee.
Leaving smiles as he passed,
And the odd patch of gas,
He carried on down the road to Tiralee.
“Hiya Harry,” his cousin unexpectedly cried,
“Nice to see you,” auld Harold unconvincingly lied.
On the road to Tiralee.
And then he bid his cousin farewell,
Chucking him down a nearby well (“my hand slipped”)
By the side of the road to Tiralee.
With a shrug and with a sigh,
Auld Harold waved his sad goodbye (“well, he was family”),
And went on down the road to Tiralee.
But now suspected in a murder case,
The rozzers took to giving chase (“Stop in the name of the law!”),
As he ran along the road to Tiralee.
The stories say that he ran to the last,
But the fleet-footed coppers were just too fast,
Racing along the road to Tiralee.
With a final, defiant shake of his fists,
Auld Harold dove headfirst off the cliffs (“you’ll never take me alive!”)
By the side of the road to Tiralee.
Some say he survived diving into the waves
And works in a chip shop where he lives out his days,
Far from the road to Tiralee.
But most think he drowned,
Though no body was found,
Below that treacherous road to Tiralee.
In hushed whispers they talk,
‘Bout how his ghost still walks (“Wooooooo”),
Along the road to Tiralee.
Many have vanished, leaving no trace,
Aside from their hats and the occasional case
Lying upon the road to Tiralee.
So if you find you’ve developed a yearning,
Be sure to heed this heartfelt warning,
And stay well away from the road to Tiralee.
Cos auld Harold’s still out there,
Stopping anyone who dares
To try and take the road to Tiralee.
